February 10, 2011

Love means showing it at least one day out of the year

Valentine's Day stands unique among other holidays in its ability to elicit very different feelings by its celebrators. Example, single men often feel the same sense of joy taken women do. Inversely, taken men may feel similar feelings of hopelessness single women may encounter.

Once we got beyond elementary school where Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Valentine’s were exchanged in class and we all got to chip our teeth on dried plaster Sweethearts®, Valentine’s Day became a day riddled with pressure. The vast majority of men that have found themselves in a committed relationship on this abject day know that some level of romancing and genuine expressions of love is expected.

These expectations I partially blame on (the eternal scapegoat) the romantic chick flick. The amount of romantic sentiment displayed in such films as, The Notebook, Say Anything, Casablanca, Love Actually, Love Story, Sleepless in Seattle, The English Patient, Titanic, and my favorite Pretty Woman is impossible to replicate in the real world.

This type of gross romance may be obtained if you happen to catch yourself in 1940’s Morocco fighting the Nazis, the two of you are separated by a continent, one of you is going away to their dream college, you have just one more night together, I just painted a naked portrait of you with the hope diamond or one of you has an incurable disease. Now it’s not as if ladies are asking for romantic overtures all the time, but if there is any day they are expected, its Valentine’s Day.

Guys shouldn’t look at Valentine’s Day as their shot to show how much they care or to finally woo her into trying that thing you saw online last week. This day should be looked at as, “just don’t piss her off.” I see it as a group of campers out running a bear. You don’t need to be the first to get away; you just can’t be the last. Or the high school basketball star who needs the 2.0 gpa to earn his scholarship, just enough is good enough.

On a random day in August, you hit her with that elaborate wine tasting weekend in Napa at a bed and breakfast and it will have twice the effective romantic quotient than it would on Valentine’s Day. A surprise weighs more than meeting an expectation.

This year I’m in the group of single men that feel free of the pressure to “not piss her off.” For me, it will just be another weekend crying with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s in my sweats.


  1. "Try not to piss her off" is also my approach to sex.

  2. ...and my approach to getting dinner.

  3. "Try not piss on her" is my approach.